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moveon.org poetry contestant

    Bill Levinson at moveon.org, please move on ! was kind enough to contribute to my previous post of "moveon" poetry . Take it way Bill,

Here's one off the top of my head. Based on MoveOn's Action Forum, this IS representative of their positions!

All went to he--(ll)
When the Twin Towers fell
To controlled demolition
Or US munitions
It was all the Jews' fault
Or a George Bush assault
To us it makes sense
'Cause it's from Jeff Rense

Thanks Bill, if we gave awards for excellence here, you'd surely get one. Until then, please enjoy one of the many impending tax increases the dems are about to level against us once they (inevitabley) regain power. At least that's the conventional wisdom of the so called conservative intelligencia like Fred Barnes etc.(I think they're just doin' a head fake myself. The ol' "fumblerooski" is gonna get those dumbacrats again-HA HA !)
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And that's the way it isn't

  

Typical news report from a disaster or possible disaster on any given day, on any given news fraudcast......

   "This is Geraldo Rivera on site here in Honolulu Hawaii with a live report of the carnage, real and otherwise. We have reports of dozens of mothers who fear their babies and small children may get woozy from all of the horribly violent, gentle swaying that some of the higher buildings are experiencing, so they are flinging them from highrise apartment buildings and hotels rather than let them live through this awful,awful,awful,awful,awful,awful symptom of the failed Bush administration. Oh my God ! Oh my God ! Oh my God !"
  (meant to be off mic, "Just give me the damm thing !" - off camera assistant then hands GR a small child) "Look at this ! Look at this ! Look at this ! This is a baby ! A baby ! Do something ! Would you all just do something !?! Look at the baby ! Oh my God ! Oh my God ! Oh my God !" (diminutive Filipino woman hits Geraldo upside head. Retrieves infant) GR- "It's okay ! It's okay everybody. I have successfully reunited that poor victim of global warming and the geopolitical policies of the GOP - which lets face it after all, are  two sides of the same coin - with it's poor mother.
 In closing, I'd just like to say, it's not easy being me but I'm the only one who can do it. From the,'Disaster on the Beach', I'm Geraldo Rivera, reporting and...just doing my job...one life rescue at a time...back to you Shep."

   Thanks Geraldo. We are going right now to a live report from the Komeoniwannawikiwiki Tiki Bar on the island of Maui, go ahead Greta. "This is Greta von Vandersloot and I've got to tell you....this is the most horriffic thing I have ever experienced. We won't show you  what is just to the left of me, but it is absolute carnage ! Right now I'd have to say there are at least a dozen dead or injured Yankees in this room. Apparent victims of a precautionary straifing by this Israely pilot, Hank Greenberg Jr.. Mr. Greenberg, don't you feel guilty for this carnage ? I mean yes, they did blow it in the League Championship Series. But was this really necessary ?"  Mr.Greenberg "I had my orders. There was a quake. Once it got to the Yankees, we knew we had to stop it. The chain reaction could have led to the destruction of every ginjoint, pool hall and tiki bar for miles." von Vandersloot: "Don't you feel guilty for all of the innocent barmaids and exotic dancers who had to die for your ORDERS ?" Mr. Greenberg: "Hey honey, I just do my job. Oh Yeah. Go Tigers !" Reporter von Vandersloot then broke down in tears and converted to the church of "Dema-commy-kofi-ism". Later, the "dead and injured" Yankees, drank some coffee and went home in "Mr. Greenberg's" Hummer.
 
   Meanwhile, back at FOX studios they roll out the title of their current reason to exist "Disaster on the Beach, What did Hastert Know, and when did he Know it ?"
This is Shepard Smith and we have breaking news from Nawlens Louisiana: Mayor "Wrong Ray" Naggin has just called out the National Guard and sent them on a road mission to Hawaii in support of the terrible attrocity there. "Wrong Ray" : "I have poisanally instwucted all of our bus maintainance poisonal to remove the earl from ALL of our school buses so as to avoid the sort of toxic soup that ocoied in the last devastatin' hoyacane. I understand that the quakes fault line has ekstended to the Oakland Athletics clubhouse and will be wreckin' havoc right here vay soon so I have also awded 10 tousand body bags and my law enfoicement poisanell is ol'raidy b'gun stuffin' dem sucka's fulla fokes dat is in impendin' dainja. Espaishally if day is white. Nahlens will rimain, a chowklit cita !" Shep: "The man is a saint. If only we had leadership like that in Washington." (breaks down and cries like a little girl) 
 
   bottom of screen crawl---- GOP disaster in Hawaii----Hundreds suspected dead as killer tsunami, triggered by administrations foriegn policy, rips exclusively through non-white areas of islands----Sen. Akaka says,"G. Bush hates Samoan people"---Republicans in congress demand Hastert explain where he was---Hastert appologizes for insensitively in not warning any gays who might have been present at apex of GOP quakes attack---Death toll now confirmed at up to many thousands and probably more---Stockmarket hits new high of 89,000---Stanford geophyisicist,"I think it was one of those things that just happens sometimes"---Stanford fires unbalanced professor for obscene comments regarding Bush admins. lack of responsibility in GOP coordinated, quake attack on Hawaii---Berkley faculty storms Stanford, beheads rampaging geophys. prof. for crimes against nature---Hague approves/endorses Berkley action---Stockmarket levels off---Hawaii rescue teams to hold press conf. on count/status of dead/dying---Honolulu native, "Whoa, I mean, like I was so dizzy"---Adjusted casualty count in: 0 dead, 0 injured, still, many outraged at lack of help from F.E.M.A.---Geraldo/Shep go on vacation to Hawaii, marvel at empty beaches,"Those poor people. If only we could have saved them all..."---

later on down the bottomline crawl...
4th straight year of intense coverage on "The Disaster on the Beach" inspires prisoners at Gitmo to retaliate against pol pot-ish, nazi like, gulag running guards. Strangle several with tv cable. Crush rest with big screen tv's---Sen. Durbin lauds efforts of "poor oppressed brown people. No longer will you have to bow down to the jackbooted, rethuglican guards."---God says "Screw it ! I'm ending this thing tommorow. Kiss your sorry butts goodbye."---Pres. H. Clinton, "This is your Bush legacy America."----Pres. Clinton hit by lightning strike---Rev. Falwell, "Apparently, He just couldn't wait one more day for her to be gone."--- God to reconsider impending doom action---GOP leadership officially condemns Falwell statement--- Giant fuse, seen by space shuttle crew, being lit at N.Pole---BOOM !
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Leftwing Utopian "Healthcare" of the Future

 
   Welcome to "Mengele, Elders & Weaselthaw" where we aim to please. Even if you don't know what's good for you, we guarantee that you will recieve the appropriate care as is necessary for your specific, individual, group or sub-section of your groups tendencies.
    Whether it's cryogenics - Dr. Weaselthaw, "We'll keep you on ice until your specific group is needed for a very special and fulfilling task to better the whole !"...To partial birth reconstructive surgery - Dr. Mengele, "I like to poke things !"
   Ah yes, the good good "Dr. M" is a man of few words but we guarantee that he is very articulate with his instruments and is rightfully known as, "Our own little pre-emptive strike against undsirable personallity/appearance traits." Not to mention his fine work in our prenatal Jewfinder militia. He's doing excellent work there sparing the poor, inferior hebe from a life of suffering before he is captured by the state and "cleansed" for his own good. We're all about compassion here at M.E.W. laboratories.  
    Come along. Let me show you around.
Shhh. Here is where Dr. Elders briefs possible parents who still have the right to choose if they will have the state designated maximum of one child...lets listen in...
Dr. Elders, "Our terminal birth center only deals with pregnancies that are malignant. A malignant pregnancy being one that will in fact result in a...in a....(whispers) a borneded child....I'm sorry...just the thought of that happening is a bit much for me to handle. Well, anyway, before you get to that point there are some mandatory requirements you must first meet. The males of your state managed couplings will be instructed in a series of 'Tybo' style Fertilizer Expulsion Exercises. Remember,our nurses assistant, Gerta Jurgens, will NOT release you until she has extracted your FEEs! guffaw guffaw! You must also commit to memory the words of the hit song,
                                  "There aint nothin' wrong,
                             With just you and a bottle of wine"

   While that is happening. the female unit will be enjoying several extended lectures from gifted speakers like, but not limited to: Naomi "All hetero sex is Rape" Wolff, Gloria "How dare you call me a lady !" Steinem and the corpse of Molly Yard. All of whom, illustrate some of the more horrofying results of male/female 'inter-co-knockin'theboots-alingus' (as oldfashioned, biological mating has come to be known by the enlightened set). The highlight of which is a splendid slideshow of seemingly well adjusted young people who are captured by secret camera doing everything from buying an S.U.V. to participating in small arms fire training and in one instance, actually voting Republican ! If that doesn't sway the potential baby makers, they are treated to in person tales from the parents of these "Cruel jokes by Mother Earth" and future "Super late-term abortion candidates" (when Hillary finally re-takes her rightful place in the Whitehouse and installs Bill as the new Chief Justice of the Supreme Court that is).
    Also, for the children who were "willed" to "Mengele, Elders and Weaselthaw", we have some pleasant cartoons starring the very entertaining and colorful Dr. Pumpenstein who takes them through some very fun "mutual exploration" games. Dr. Elders. "I mean hey, it's not like it's nothin' they aint gonna do anyhow. We all gotta die a sumthin'. Why not let it be self abuse ? G. Dub just gonna get us all kilt anyhow so ya'all might as well 'njoy yaselves ! Eh he, eh he, eh he..."
  
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YouSEE-BS Evening News

 Tonight on the youSEE-BS evening news fraudcast: Madonna "liberates" her child; New controversial Iranian infomercial; What were they going to call the I-Pod, originally ?; Sen. Harry Reid accepts numerous accolades/awards from guess who ?
 
   And much much more. But first, a word from some capitalist lacky:
 
   Can't make it to the beheading ? Something happened on the way to the genecide ? Well, worry no more my devilish friend because we have the answer to all of your attrocity coordinating delemas, it's, GO TO EVIL LAIR !TM When you want to cause horror and mayhem but just can't get there, remember the first name in events unsane,it's always, GO TO EVIL LAIR !TM
   Say you're raping a young kidnapped starlet but, Oh Darn ! They're holding the mass execution at the same time ! Fret no more my strangely groomed friend because you have, GO TO EVIL LAIR !TM
                               testimonial
   "I saw it at work with my own eyes ! My dear freind, Mr 'Shmussein' I'll call him, used it all of the time ! Whether there was a beheading in B--dad, a hand removal in B--ra, a de-tounging in T-krit or a genecide in the K--dish region, it was as if he was right there enjoying those moments in all of their splendor and 'dying color' ! All while raping one of our, er um, his countries poor unfortunate victims of a targeted and very tragic 'suicide'. Wink wink,nudge nudge, you know what I mean ? Man I tell ya, that 'Shmadaam' really knew how to party."  Eason J. CNN, Georgia
 
    So always remember, and don't forget, despots on the go and cave hopping terrorists alike never go crazy, they, GO TO EVIL LAIRTM
GO TO EVIL LAIR is a product of Oil For Bombs inc. which is a subsidiary of Go-Tell-It-On-The-U.N. Industries
                            OFFICIAL SPONSOR  'HILLARY IN 08' CAMPAIGN 
 
   And now, tonights spews:
First up, as has been the pattern with liberal icons who rip the Bush administration to shreds, Harry Reid today was honored with a library dedicated in his name by G. Bush #41 and recieved the first ever, "You are the greatest human being that has ever lived" award from George W. himself. The latter ceremony included the unveiling of a marble statue in the apparent likeness of Sen. Reid in the stance of holding the entire world on his shoulders.
   The President smiled politely as Sen. Reid responded to all of the well deserved tributes with a small statement of facts. "This President is a blight on humanity. I predict that he will eventually preside over the total destruction of the Earth itself. Oh yeah, and thanks for the statue or whatever you stupid loser !"
   A fox news attackdog reporter was heard to say, "But..." just before he was knocked unconscious and arrested for assaulting Senate royalty, uh, the attempted assassination of a sitting US Senator.
 
   In other news, the worlds greatest entertainer -next to Babs that is- Madonna, has decided to do the right thing and free her child from her own motherly grip, returning her to the soveriegn in which she was born. Her belief in the "Church of Dema-Commie-Kofi-ism" requires that she loosen her grip on the concept of "personal accountabilty".
"That is a mode that's sooo passe, I mean really !
 
   Now for tonights "lib-bits" segment:
Since the sanctions imposed on North Korea started, their great and glorious leader has begun marketing a new item on all of the Al Jazeera and similar networks like CNN, ABC, NBC, MSNBC and of course, right here on yours truly's network. This great and wonderful new technological wonder ? The "Warhead Kozy" ! Check it out late night or just go to www.youseebs.com for the link.
 
   Finally in our, "Watchoo talkin' 'bout", culture segment, a story so lame that only I could tell it: Knock knock. Who's there ? Juwana. Juwana who ? Juwana know the names they tried for the "I-pod" before it took over the world ? Sure. Well, there was the "me-me-me-me-me-machine" and of course for the hip-hop culture there was the "FUMAN." . We'll let you guess what that meant, ha ha. Goodnight for now and remember that the "Freedom to be correct" segment will return tommorow with Noam Chomsky bringing things back over towards the right from where they've been lately. For now, just call me Katie... suckers...
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'The Softball Lobbed 'Round THE Issue'

 
Transcript: Play by play of Laura Ingraham interview with Sen, J. McCain - D.C. Rino

...McCain is hitting about a buck fifty against 'Enter a real conservatives name hear'.... The defense is shifted all the way to  the left side of the field as the big lefthanded veteran of the 'D.C. Rinos' keeps going the other way so much that teams around the league now employ "The McCain Shift"..... His teammates are still realing from when he insisted that the opponents be given his own teams signs and their meanings before every game..... 

   There it went folks. The chance of a lifetime for the woman I think of as my warrior sister in intelectual arms and she doesn't even mention the "al qeda bill of rights" that this man authored. He's a public servant for criminy sake, not a journeyman hitter with some pop in his bat. One can understand getting a little doe eyed if it WAS Mr. Bobby Thomson, but not this guy. Sen. McCain has a lot to answer for and I'm afraid the pitcher is the one who struck herself out this time leaving this fan booing. Get him back on Laura. Call him to account for his destructive meddling. It won't be scary. I promise. Just keep telling yourself, "He's only a public servant - He's only a public servant". Somehow me thinks in your head you were hearing, "I can get a regular gig with a U.S. Senator out of this! I can get a regular gig with a U.S. Senator out of this !". I love you Laura. I want to have your baby. But PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE ! Don't ever let that happen again. Especially after you've spent so much time of late, lecturing on the virtues of going on the attack. Not only that, but I think it's in your job description, Oh yeah, here it is in the "Rightwing 'Shockjock' Success Manual". Page One-Sec. 1-Par.A) "Don't put the audience to sleep while simultaneously delivering the single most significant disapointment in an interview since the entire history of libs softballing libs on the lapdog medias Sunday talk shows."

   You always fire us up with your energy sooooo...the next time you get "the frontrunning Presidential candidate of the G.O.P.", show me that spunk that made me love you in the first place. Show us that we, the audience, come first. Even when it comes to a big shot politician who tries to "relate" to all of us out here in the great unwashed by displaying his vast rock knowledge."Hey, Eagles, Steve Miller, it's all that same kinda junglebunny stuff right ? I really love those guys ! Oh by the way, which one's 'Pink' ?" The rest of his answers were about as substantive and full of the usual, fist with a thumb up - "I'm for that", kind of  political crappola that your adoring fans expect you to not let slide. No more Laura. I can get that much confrontation on the local Muzac station.
 
Your everlovin', but slightly disillusioned, 2spot
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Hewitt v. Eric Black = Listeners KOed

    Trying to be serious here for a minute but I just don't get it. Hugh Hewitt, a man of integrity, intellect and dare I say honor is reduced to spending 2 hours of his radio show illustrating what is painfully obvious to anyone who pays attention and isn't Eric Black or his fellow self important lefties in the MSM. THESE PEOPLE'S RELEVANCE IS IN DIRECT RELATION TO HOW MUCH ATTENTION THEY ARE PAID BY HEAVYWEIGHTS LIKE HUGH HEWITT.
 
  
Please Mr. Hewitt, tell me that I will never again have to hear you prove your bonafides by telling some weasel like this all of your stances against the Bush administration. I don't know if you did that this time, but I found it so humiliating and demeaning for a man of your stature the last time you invited one of these obfuscators on that I couldn't quite bare to listen to the entire thing this time. Well, that and this guy was about as tedious and pretentious as any of the liars in your stable of lefty appologists. I mean,to say that one must hide ones political affiliation and opinions from public awareness so as to maintain the appearance of objectivity, is a premise born of a basic insecurity and stick your fingers in your ears and yell "La la la la la la !" logic. 

   No offense Mr. Hewitt, but I'd rather hear "Old Bill" or some other patriot patron of your show pontificating for two hours than to go through that again. Let Mr. Black fade away into his own little state of denial, alternate reality.Highlighting his ineptitude at observing basic facts as a member of the alleged "Truth Squad" is tedious at best, and robbing us of someone fantastic like Claudia Rosett, Mark Stein, Lileks or one of your other fine regulars at worst. Don't worry, there will always be a feverswamp filled with sycophants and TRULY "mind numbed robots" to make Mr. Black and his mates at the Strib feel important but don't lets waste our valuable time confirming the truth of the institutionalized left in this country. Just be straight and to the point when describing them. They're liars and appologists for all things/candidates left. The farther left the more forgiving if not blind they become. The fact that they believe the tripe they're spilling only makes it a safer bet to just keep your distance from these koolaid swillers.

   Tell you what,next time you feel compelled to send your listeners spinning down into the corrosive caldron of some cacophonous collaborator, assemble the "Hugh Hewitt Players" for a skit to illustrate their boobyhatcherie. For eg:

HH to moonbat:"Lets play a word association game. I'll say a word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind. Okay. Lies."

Moonbat:"That is a very strong word that one usually thinks long and hard and twice again before considering it's use in relation to the activities of people who think like me..."

Hugh: "George Bush."  
 
MB: "
LIAR !!! LIAR LIAR LIAR !!! BABY KILLER ! FACIST ! CREEEEPY NAZI LIIIAAAAARRRRRRR."

Hugh:"Thank you again for coming Mr. Odonell. Larry Odonell everyone. We'll be right back with Osama Bin Laden's chauffer who is hawking his latest book, "How do I love Thee s.c.o.t.u.s. ? Let me count the ways!
Or: How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Write the a.c.l.u." 

2spot
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World to N Korea: "That Makes me Sooo Angry!"

    Throughout the world today, much displeasure was expressed with North Korea or rather it's leader, Kim Jong Ill. This current incantation of displeasure was so severe that some expressions of it could even be found to have an appearance of an intent to maybe think about doing something sometime in the distant future if the perpetrator(s) of these dasterdly deads did not consider ceasing and desisting sometime very soon. If it's not to much of a problem.

   There was even an organization that formed virtually instantaneously in response to the much planned, threatened, promised, guaranteed, crossed their hearts and hoped to die if they didn't do it nuke test, that resulted from careful and extended planning in combination with a massive media blitz for days and days before the shocking event that actually happened. And so it was that, Kimshee Clouseau, the current "organism what speaks to the media" pontificated in the popular vernacular of her group, Intercontinental French & Asian Physicists, Endocrinologists,Surgeons,Talebearers And Likeminded Knuckleheads, Education Dimwits Id'jits & Dinks. Her summation? "It rooka rika bim !".

   Ms. Clouseau further stated that not since advocating for Ali Baba and his 40g armed headsman to man all U.S. ports has George W. Bush stepped in it so badly. "Oh my, he reery makee for run stinky big frish fry ! Dat no barrow of minkeys, dat GW farin parissy " Nancy Pelosi, all of her comrades and bretheren including John McCain, Lindsay Graham, Link Chaffey, etc. etc. blah blah blah, all concurred and called for the public execution of the President. Unfortunately for them, Ricardo Chaney and Don "don't call me 'Dandy'" Rumsfield were prepared for just such a revoltin' development and fired their previously aimed, Plutonium PU-180 Space Modulators straight at this spineless bunch as they were enjoying whiskey and porn with the afforementioned despot of ill repute and POOF !!! There was instant peace in that particular theater. Did this signal a change in foriegn relations as it pertains to "Gettin' it Done"? Why yes it did boys and girls. And the world lived sanely ever after. After Rummy and Ricardo neutered ol' mahmoud that is...

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Everybody Kim Jonged Last Night

      Today at the u.n.
The security council flipped a coin to see if they should flip a coin to see if they should start a discussion on whether or not to form a committee to study the potential affects on the psyche of the possibly deranged "hand grenade with a bad haircut" leader of North Korea (Should they -the u.n.- actually ask the little poorly groomed, personal explosive device to reconsider moving toward the total annihilation of every living organism within striking distance -to the south & east of him that is- of his,  mysteriously covered in chinese patents pending. "Takee-Home-KungPao-Whoopass" missiles.) as it pertains to section 3, amendment 2, paragraph 13L of the Geneva Conventions regarding Prenegotiation Stress Disorder, wherein and heretofore it doth state: "The forces of liberty (see capitalism) are just a bunch of mean, insensitive freedom lovers who probably excelled in sports or auto repair or some other such gauche activity and always adhere to things like facts, rules, rational thought and the basic belief that I didn't bowl a perfect 300 the first 6 games I ever played."
 
   Condeleezza Rice said, "I feel good that we have established the basis for a potential dialogue here." Then she took some "aspirin" and lied down for a real long time. Ambassador Bolton said, "The button ! Just let me push the freakin' button !!!"  The U.S. Supreme Court said, "Hey, who made us the boss of him anyway ? We have nukes too ya know and we're no better than they are as a culture. They're just different."  The U.S. Military said nothing but the sun over Pyongyang was eclipsed later in the day as an unknown quantity of aircraft ranging from a few hundred fully loaded B-52s to a just recommissioned 1944 Pipper Cub whose VFW charter member pilot, one Buzz Halfcocked, was heard to mutter, " I'm takin' me out some commy pinko trash !" , just as he fired his Colt 45 service pistol out the side of the Cub with the missing door and in the general direction of "commy pinko" central.
 
   Throughout the world, numerous thug leaders and mass murderers made on themselves, melted into the general public and immediately began putting "Plan 2-b" into action. That plan involves crossing the porous southwestern American border where they will have more rights as illegals and can then begin the campaign to vote out those nasty republicans and reinstall the Clintons to power so as to relive the glory days of free flowing nuke secrets/materials and, look the other way, U.S. diplomacy.
 
   All of this while the latest john zogby "How much does George Bush suck?" poll revealed that some percentage of Americans have heard of North Korea and are aware that john kerry and "Trapper John" ended the horrible suffering there with their brave testimony before congress at the McCarthy hearings. The poll participants were also informed, uh, were in agreement that F.D.R. freed the slaves and gave native Americans their own nation of Cleav-a-land. Also, 93 percent said that ALL or most republicans are homosexual creepy perverts with 100 percent agreeing, "not that there's anything wrong with that."
 
   In a related story, "Jackass the Movie #2" is #1
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Foreign Correspondents

    Dearest Pinch,
Just wanted to drop a line in thanks for all of the many heads up over the last year or so. Sorry not to have been in touch too much of late, but those spec-ops guys really keep us on the run. Please know that it IS appreciated, especially the genius technique of simply putting your communiques to us in the regular circulation,thus protecting you from any "legal" difficulties. LOL  One of my underlings thought we had a 1st amendment. Then we placed his head on a pike. LOL
  Nice interference you've been running there too, keeping all of the spy-guys chasing after republican buggery on Capitol Hill and such.
See you at the Xmas party, your pal always, Osama.


   Dear Jean Claude,
I know you love it when I call you that my darling little horsey face. Well, this is just to remind you of the promise that you made last Bastille Day. NO MORE GOP RULE ! We here at the Network of Entertainers, Wordsmiths, Killers, Liberals, Anti-semites & Nancyboys all appreciate your work demonizing the American fighting man but it just doesn't seem to be taking. Perhaps if you mention your service in Viet Nam. I can't destroy American resolve all by my lonesome now pookybear, so you just get in there and sell,sell,sell. I wired you some cash for ad time on Hanoi Janes new network (at $15 a spot, you can't beat it for a "national" network). Your Honeybunny, Christiane.



   Jack,
What can I say ? You my friend are the tops. It is so good to know that whenever moral is low, all I have to do, is call on you, 'cause I've got a friend. Sorry, can't help it, James Taylor speaks to my soul. I can't believe that witch Carly left him. Anyway, the next big one will be for you bud. No more dedicating little attacks that kill/maim a few dozen candy craving school kids. No sir my friend, the one we dedicate to you will leave an entire American city in flames (or some other wonderfully horrible calamity, we'll try to surprise you). I enclosed some forms for a "Guess the Attrocity" office pool you can all have fun with down at d.n.c. headquarters.
 
  Your comrad, Al"The Z-Man" Zawahiri

p.s. don't worry, we'll leave Pittsburgh alone...for now ! LOL
   


   

  
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Imagine...no injustice...

 Just some headlines I'd like to see...  

 Heavily Armed Man Pitchforked by Amish Schoolmarm
   
   Iranian Nuke Program Bogged Down by 'I.C.L.U.' 
   
   Foley & Frank Elope, Say "Screw the Establishment"
 
   Nurse Beaten by Angry Patients Feigning Comas

   Titan Breaks Ankle Attempting to Stomp on Foe

   Webb Exposed: "Lets get that F'ing Kike,n-Lover Allen !"

   Doc,Springer,Oprah ratings: Zero Point Zero !

   Jesse Jackson to Corp World:"To You I give Reparations, I've Been a Real roid, Now Save Your 'Preparations"

   Last Known Jihadist Blows-Up Making Bomb

   Study Suggests?: Men Right "Sometimes"

   Sorros,moveon to world "Sorry, We'll Knock it off "

   World Rid of - Child Preds Commit Mass Suicide

   Limbaugh Unveils National Monument to Self

   Yankees Finish 23rd Straight Campaign in Cellar

   Black Helicopter Lands on M Moore/Last Words-"I Told  You so"

  
NY Times Expose:Class. Gov. Docs. Show-"We're Main Threat to National Security". Pelosi Demands Spec. Pros.

  
Fitzgerald to Libby,Country:"I'm a Dem Hack Fraud"

   Study: Capitalism Linked to Prosperity

   College Students Everywhere Tar & Feather Faculties

   Worlwide "Thank You America Day" Celebration a Success


   Drink NEW "Republican Rule-Aid" and your dreams will be that sweet
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"What the Freak Was That ?"

    Aaaahhh yes, hi and howdy everybody and welcome to another edition of, WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT !?!
I'm your host Dink Turbindale, and this week on WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT !?! .....John Murtha !....Nancy Pelosi !...and if there is still time left before the universe collapses in on itself, Pat Leahy !

    Alright ! Well, let's get the show started with our first panelist, John Murtha !!! Mr. Murtha is a vervently anti-American white flag waver and will never pass up a  chance to twist a terrible war time tragedy into an American attrocity deserving of the kind of national flagellation heretofore unseen since the conflict known as the "Viet Nam War". Yeah, yeah ! Let's here it for him everybody ! JOHN MURTHA ! Yes sir, John Murtha, reporting to go doody on Americans who are down.And all for his own political benefit. Welcome Congressman !

Murtha: America sucks ! America sucks everybody ! WE ARE THE PROBLEM ! The American fighting man IS the problem, NOT THE SOLUTION. Stop killing the Al Qeda freedom fighters ! FREE THE GITMO 14 !!! 
  
Dink: Ah yes thanks Jack, you just have 'em eatin' outta your hands here at Sheehan City, Television Studios in Marin county  but it's time to play, "WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT !?!" As usual, ever since ABSCAM, any tape of you saying anything, mysteriously vaporizes after you've said it. I'm sure it's all part of that "Vast rightwing conspiracy" but I do believe I heard you say "It really makes me nervous that it looks like they(the Nazi GOP) tried to cover it up". "It" being the REPUBLICAN Mark Foley's recent democratic opportunity, um,er,uh haneous actions as an alledged human being. Congressman Murtha, WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT !?!

Murtha:  Yes Dink well let me explain myself. What I was attempting to convey was, this exposes the fact that the 'culture of corruption' has now mutated into 'the politics of perversion' and surely no republican page,whether current or former, will go untouched in my investigation and I promise you all, I"LL be doing the editing of THOSE tapes and depositions. But back to my statement, I was simply trying to contain the absolute giddyness I have been imersed in since this news came out but hot damm! Next to jumping the gun on calling those killers in the Marine Corps a band of bloodthirsty, coldblooded killers, this type of opportunity can almost make ya lose control of your bodily functions. Wow! I'm just euphoric right now. Somebody pinch me !!! 

Dink: Yeah well thanks Jack, it's time now to move on to our current champ, Nancy Pelosi ! Nancy is a non-housewife,non-housework doing anti-liberty facist who neuters men in her spare time.(Pro bono I might add) Yes, she just gives and gives! She gave much of her facial skin in advance of her own death among other things and she wants you to give your paycheck for her altruistic programs! She's, NANCY PELOSI !!! Take it away "San Fran Nan"

Nan: Thanks Dink. I thinks it's time for me to hand over my reign to someone else.
Audience: No Nancy ! We love you !!!
Nan: No No, there are so many other deserving contributors in the national effort to confuse and demoralize the American people that I can't, in good consience, continue to hold back the exposure of such fine obfuscators as Jack Mytha, yourself Dink and of course, virtually the entire democratic party and its sattelite franchises, Lindsay Graham, John McCain, John Warner, Link Chafey and that guy from Ohio,Voinovich or something, who cries at the mention of John Boltons name.

Dink: What a champ, what a champ ! You're still a winner in perpetuity in my book Nancy. I mean, your work to distort the N.I.E. alone is enough to put you in the WTFWT Hall of Fame. Lets here it for her folks !
Now, I think we have something that you will all just absolutely love......Let me take you back....to a word..."Leaky !!!"
Audience: ROAR ! ROAR ! HUZZAH etc.
Dink: Yes, that's right, I'm towkin' 'bout the one and only Patrick Leahy !!! SENATOR !!!.........

The audience of the television juggernaut that is "What the frick was that !?!" was then treated to what can only be described as a nirvana inducing collection of statements against reality and utterly insane demands for "justice" in the treatment of illegal enemy combatants who break every rule of engagement by targeting and slaughtering innocents while simultaneously managing to put them up as human shields so as to further the cause of America hating defeatism. It was one for the ages.

 http://leahy.senate.gov/press/200609/092806c.html
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moveon.org poetry contest finalists

    Welcome everyone to the first annual moveon.org poetry contest. If you haven't got your entries in yet don't worry, everyone gets credit for participating and lets face it, we're all winners when we share the hate.

finalist #....Numbers are for the bourgeois capitalist schwinehunts !! This entry came in from our loyal friends on "the strip".

   Noses punched red,
   Eyeballs drilled too,
   When dems take over congress,
   Bye bye Israel  ZIONISTS ! WEST POISENED SCUM ! EVIL, MEAN QUESTION ASKING MONKEYS ! SETTLERS ! UN-BELIEVERS IN THE ONE TRUE GOD ALLAH !  YOU WILL ALL DIE BY THE SWORD YOU HERETICAL BASTIGES ! DIE MONKEY DIE !!!

   
another equally signifigant participant in our wonderful time of non-judgemental sharing- we'll call him Howard

    2 mil in Rawanda, 
    Way to go W.,
    Now it's Darfur's turn
    George Bush hates black people !!!Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh !!!
 
     Wow! You people are all winners to me. And I mean that. Here's an entry from "Legacy builder" who resides  down yonder in Georgia. Take it away Jima, er a, I mean "LB".

     Ah, the best laid plans of men (or mice),
    You failed in the desert,
    Failed economically,
    No, I don't mean me,
    It's all G dubs fault, ya see ?

  Ah, that was wonderful stupid. And thanks again for inviting "2 cheeseburgers Moore" to a nationally televised event. Ya gotta keep our intelectual leaders on the down-low when in public yo ! For one of our greatest presidents, the guy just doesn't know when ta can it. I mean uh, nice effort LB !

    Finally, here's "K.O." from  the Many Silly Numbnuts, B-sers & Crockspreaders group.

     
    What is a man,
    If not a collection of thoughts and feelings ?
    What is a thought,
    If not a collection of syllables and punctuation?
    What is a fact ?
    It's an annoying, imovable pain in my #%@#!!!
    Die you monkey basturd die !!! 

   I know what you're thinking. "Please make it stop!" Well, stay tuned for more brilliance and feel free to contribute. All entries will be considered on a fiery rage, first served basis. Always remember and don't forget, feelings are what matters, anyone can use facts to make a point. 
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The Weakling Kuss

    The following is a wrap-up of the week in conspiracies,rightwing facism updates and a complete tallying of victories for the righteous peoples who reside in moonbat county. Some facts have been changed to protect the hopelessly inculcated.


   The C.I.A. installed leader of Afghanistan,Hamid Karzai alias,Scotty McScottsman, attempted to corrupt the minds of rightly left thinking people everywhere earlier this week by pointing out the "fact" that people jumping from 70 stories up is somehow NOT George Bush's fault. Look "Hamid", first off, we here at TWK know that you are a former C.I.A. plant in the I.R.A.. You still can't hide that Irish brogue! You ruined a once proud band of martyrs & bombers for the sake of your stupid capitalist peace & prosperity but you'll not be foolin' anyone this time. Praise be to the freedom fighters of the Taliban!!!


    In a little known move, great American and special prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald responded to Adolph Bush's declassification of some of the other sentences in the N.I.E. by scheduling Scooter Libby for a dawn execution on Thursday. Video can be seen at aljazeera.org ,snufffilms.gov , zauwahiri.ca.gov , cnn.bus & nytimes.snufffilms.ca.gov


   The following is a contribution from our Muslim brothers keeping tabs on the cause for destroynig the Nazi Bush from abroad.

DATELINE:Islam "university" bulletin board.

In a local tribunal yesterday, it was found that Farooq Mohammad Imabomerjad is innocent of mudering scores of women, men attempting to find work and children gathered ostensibly for a candy handout. His beheading will be tommorow right after lunch in the quad. Also, please remember to bring plenty of rocks for the stoning of the rape victim which will follow the main event for the sake of those who love crowd participation. Remember, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT  brings stones that are large enough, heavy enough or so jagged as to kill the filthy whitch too quickly. We want this to last and there were people in the back last week who didn't even get a shot at a moving breathing target. C'mon people, share the bloodlust. There's plenty to go around, especially with all of the recent soccer viewing and showing of ankles and such due to the horrid influence of the barbaric western culture.Piece out ya'all, keep those bombings and torture tapes coming and always remember & don't forget, if some uppity, sanctimonious westy symp starts whining about our status as a religion of peace, you just cut out his(or her) black heart and show it to him(or her) before he(or she) dies.That'll show him(or her). Oh yeah, don't forget to only power drill out ONE of his(or her) eyes before you do this so he(or she) can actually see what you've just done to them.Happy slitting everyone, Mo
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Bill Clinton: Statesman

    Okay. This may not be what he said to Chris "Rightwing Attackdog" Wallace, but it's what I heard and I'm prepared to take a pollygraph.

     1st) "the context in which this arises...I'm being asked this on the Fox News network".  If you're saying, "Hey, what else is gonna happen ? I mean this is Fox after all." So what are you trying to say? It is Fox. Everyone knows that they can't be trusted not to ambush a decent democrat guy like you. Thanks for coming on & illustrating that point for us Mr. Clinton.

   2nd) Words to the effect that there were 3 things wrong in a 5 hour docudrama. Well, I'm sure everyone here on the right feels your pain as ANYTHING done about us in the MSM contains around 37 all out lies before the opening credit roll is done. Oops, am I whining ? Sorry. Not very statesmanlike, is it ?

   3rd) " All of President Bushes 'Neo-cons' thought...". Does that mean that W. had already installed his little zionist gremlins in the government as a pre-emptive strike at Clinton before he even became "President Bush" ? Did Pres. Bill know that Bush was going to become Pres.? Why is there NO record of these attacks from the right on Bills obsession with ubl ? I'll tell ya why. Google's in on the whole thing, that's why. LexusNexus & Haliburton got 'em to roll over.

   4th) Here's where it gets kinda fuzzy. Basically, this is like Tarzan saying, "Ugh, Tarzin good, Tenant, C.I.A., 911 Cumishen bad".

   5th) "Hey, 8 months, 8 years, what's the difference ? All you need to know is that I tried and when it comes to tracking down battle hardened, well organized mass murderers, any special-ops guy can tell you it's the thought that counts."

   #F) As in I'm f'ed. You guys! You guys and your "won't ask the really tough questions of the other side like you ask me" tactics. I'm hip to you buddy... and your little smirk too !

   Lucky #7) Here's where there is just a massive stream of incoherent thoughts and accusations including the assertion that "If I were still President, we'd have more than 20,000 troops there trying to kill him(ubl)" which is remarkably followed up with, "Now, I've never criticized President Bush..." he then alters reality once again with "We do have a government that thinks Aghganistan is only one seventh as important as Iraq". Wow ! The man just scored a perfect 10 in the mental gymnastics competition.

   Now serving #8) I'm overwhelmed. I give up. You win Bill. You're a total victim who tried harder than anyone before or since to murder bin laden. I mean you contracted killers to do it. I mean, the F.B.I. & the C.I.A. wouldn't certify that he was a bad man. I mean the 911 commission report was a political document. I mean you were obsessed with the guy you didn't mention until about page 799 of a 999 page doorstop 'er, memoir. I mean, you brought peace to the middle east, jobs to the heartland and experience to a nubile young intern. Where's my chisel ? I'm goin' to South Dakota.

  


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