Posted by
2spothipshot on Friday, February 06, 2009 4:50:17 PM
This year, taxpayers
will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program
that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an
Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that will be sent
to taxpayers.
Q. Where does this
money come from?
A. From
taxpayers.
Q. So, I'm getting
back my own money?
A. Only a
smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose
of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money
to purchase a high tech TV set, thus stimulating the
economy.
Q. But isn't that
stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut
up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to
best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check
wisely:
If you spend that money
at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend
it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a
computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and
vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you
buy organic- and
even then look at the label, Mexico imports organic).
If you buy a car it will go to
Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to
Taiwan.
And none of it will help
the American economy.
We need
to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by
spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on hookers,
beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses
still in the US.
(stole this from an e-mail being passed around. love it)