Posted by
2spothipshot on Wednesday, November 15, 2006 12:37:26 AM
Welcome to...TALES FROM THE FUTURE !
Tragedies like the following wouldn't be in our future if the democrat party was made our officially licensed "party of the people".
dateline Wash. D.C. -The FUTURE
Republicans are being blamed today for A SERIES of 'accidental' killings that have been sweeping the country since fluffybunnies were completely outlawed and all history of their existence removed from the public record or replaced with the word 'fluffybunny' when removal is not possible. Of course this didn't settle with the venomous GOP who insisted that the -soon to be banned from public mention- standard chopping ax be allowed to exist and be owned by those who pass all required testing including the standardised fluffybunny tests that were adapted to accomodate safety training for your average 'sugarmuffin'.
This just in: Legislation has passed in congress to forever more require that all sugarmuffins only be referred to as sugarmuffins and nothing else.That, was just in.
Which brings us to todays tragic, tragic, GOP induced....uh, tragedy. This man, Ainsley Borntasue, lost his father in a horrible and unnecessary accident. "How was I supposed to know it was sharpened ?" said a poor victim of the old Bush administrations legacy. "I didn't even sharpen it. It was in it's muffinwrapper I swear. The next thing I knew it slipped outta my hand and BAMMO! Right between the eyes with a sharpened sugarmuffin. That's what my daddy got...and he didn't deserve it....dam you republicans, dam you all to 'kozytime'.(any references to the hereafter were also banned in the future..."were"?..."the future"?...these things never work).
I don't know if they name congresses like they do baseball teams -you know, "The GasHouse Gang", "The Bronx Bombers" etc.- but i've got a slogan for this coming Jans. session: "The first session of the end of our lives"
This MUST be tried: "Porky Infidel Airlines" An airline with the requirement that EVERYONE who boards must eat some pork. In flight, there's pork punch,pork lemonade,porktales. "Essence of Squeal" air fresheners. Of course then, they will still be victimized by all of the 'Tim McVays' that c.a.i.r. and their allies in the democrat media always insist on mentioning whenever someone suggests that Islam has a little tendency towards violence.....Not ME though, uh uh. Just save me from those wanton hordes of Christians from the Crusades...Really though...I wasn't even hinting that there is violence in your religion....I'm sorry! Please don't Acckk!-kkaaarrr!-ghugugugurgglegurglegurgl!-ooooozzzzzz.....drip...drip...drip...drip...drip...
I wonder...are there more malpractice suits that result from delivering babies or from killing them ? Either way, I'd just as soon hang on to my soul thank you. Have you hugged an M.D. today ? (if you do, try to boost his sharp things all away from him.Those doctors, they really need an off switch)
Is it just me or did guys like Talent and Allen look a little relieved when they gave their consession speeches ? I didn't even see one of them give one. Maybe they just have a little more of "The Eye of the Tiger". That's what America wants in her politicians, absolute and unequivocal obsession.
More...TALES FROM THE FUTURE!
A guy(gov. agent) looks warmly into the camera that's shooting the latest PSA. "I'll never forget that last special moment with Grandma...Right before I dropped her with my state issued 'Compassion Carbine'. I'll always remember her that way...'No, please, I want to live!' Oh that Grammy! Such a fiesty one. She would've gotten away too...if I'd given her half a chance...Nope. Public service. It gives your life meaning. Come down today and register for your compulsory volunteer service. You won't regret it. Government is good !"
(we now join your current time, already in progress)
Here's an idea I'll never see come to fruition. Let's take all of the scumlike killers that we catch over yonder in Bagdad and Afghanistan and force them to "disarm" unexploded i.e.d.s that we find. Or better yet, let's just dress them up in our uniforms and put them in the lead of ALL convoys, inside an old worn out hummer (remote controlled by us of course), as though they are scouting ahead and watch what happens as their bound and gagged LIVING bodies get transported to "the virgin islands".
If those killing scum dogs happen to take over a small to medium sized American town and begin a long and horrific Beslan type siege, what will we do ? If it was already a "military town" would we "redeploy" ? Would we bomb our own ? I'm serious because that day is coming folks. Do you know what they did in Beslan ? They are already here and we are squabbling about "national healthcare" and impeachment hearings and trying to figure out how to make someone else take the fall for whatever trouble we find ourselves in politically or otherwise. If we wait until another American city is in flames will it be too late ?
Son of, "More....TALES FROM THE FUTURE!"
Today in response to the recently enforced "New and Improved Fairness Doctrine", Rush Limbaugh said, "See, I told You So-gu-go-eek-ack-uck-Aaaarrrgh !" The above nazi propoganda has been interupted to bring you this bulletin: Conservatism has just been added to the list of "undesirable traits" that Big Brother needs to purge from society. The man who just carried out this corrective procedure, Howard "Howlin' Howie" Mengele (himself a product of the new state run program, "Creating the Best and Brightest, for a Better, Brighter Future, for all who are left") said, "Boy, that was fun ! Nurse ! Clean-up on E.I.B. !!! HA HA HA ! "