Posted by
2spothipshot on Thursday, November 02, 2006 10:22:37 PM
I'm sorry America, but I am john kerry. I've been john kerry for as long as I can remember. I don't know what happened to me to make me this way. I only know one thing, I will never change. So stop being shocked and either accept me as I am or do the right thing and shame me into oblivion.
I'll go over this one more time. I came back from my home movie making/metal collecting session in Viet Nam -via meetings with communist viet cong leaders- to a warm reception in congress where I willingly lied about my brothers in arms by starting the whole "Viet Nam vets are drugged out, mentally ill, killing machines who fought in 'the biggest nothing in history' and should be pitied and patronized" myth. Of course I knew that this would elevate me in the eyes of the elite, moral equivocation crowd and simultaneously result in the spitting upon, of what were basically as heroic a bunch of American war vets as had ever existed until that time. Score that, john kerry 1, the truth 0 And there was ZERO public outrage. John O'neil didn't get much traction back then. This would stand as my greatest accomlishment ever and led to many groovy "experiences" with the peacenik set.
I basically coasted on that for the next 30 plus years or so, every now and then building on it with a "magic hat" story, "Christmas in Cambodia" lies etc. Still, virtually no outrage for all of the people, living and dead, on whose destroyed reputations I stood, while launching and propelling very successful careers in politics and widow marrying. Consequently, my original lesson is reinforced for a period of 30 years leading me to think. "When in doubt, play the 'I'm a war hero and you're not' card."
So you can understand that even after the "Swifboat Vets for Truth" guys gummed up my big shot at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, I still just thought, "Hey, 57 million votes is a good start. I'll be ready next time" and I slipped back into my old habits. ie: Calling American soldiers terrorists, doing the usual playing both sides of every issue ("I voted for it before I voted against it"). I dare you to find a quote that addresses anything of substance, while I was on the campaign trail in '04, that didn't have the word but,right in the middle as a sort of glue, injected to keep everyone swallowing my bull as though I was on their side -whichever side that happened to be.
Now this ? I hope you can understand my consternation at all of this as I have been saying things of a much more haneous magnitude for my entire public life and got rewarded for it. Why this ? The only thing that is different this time is the public display of outrage by the oppositions' LEADERS. I'm sure there's a connection there somewhere. If only I was smarter. One thing I do know is, it was much better for me when their response to all of my treason was, "Well, it's a free country and he's got a right to SAY WHATEVER HE WANTS TO SAY. I'm too busy being president to worry about what he's saying anyway." Nope, this is deffinitely not a change for the better. But I am a brilliant man and I always know what to do so, for the last time, I'm sorry if you are too dumb to get the joke but I'm sure when you stop and think about it, you'll realize that it is only natural, for a man of my staggering omniscience, to hold anyone who is not me in utter contempt. See you in the Whitehouse,
j.k.