I live in California and was going to plant a sappling out back next to the pool when my neighbor, a government employee, recomended against it as I would be in violation of the anti-offshore drilling statutes...
I went ahead and started digging anyway. Soon I was amazed to find an actual jawbone of the extinct "Neandercrat Man".
As luck would have it, I was putting together another bunch of old skeletal remains and this jawbone was a perfect fit for the first ever completely assembled structure of the "North American Velossa-jackass". I'm very...uh, proud. Yeah, that's it, proud.
In a related story: Nancy Pelosi still exists.
This date in future news:
As the one year anniversary of the retaking of congress by the DNC approaches, Rep. Charles Rangel is getting ready for a big celebration to usher in the new "payroll adjustments" he authored with Jesse Jackson who said,"I think, that with the initiation, of these fine fine, supa fine, reparations (applause applause), America has entered inta, a peerid, of the fulfillment, of many naraminded peoples', soopastitions ! (more applause) So in closin', to paraphrase my brother Stevie,from his classic,'Superstition' -
'They wouldn't vote for their own,
Now their bent over and boned !,
And they sufferrrrrrrr !!!
Stayin' home just aint the way !
Fu-ull ri-ights for gays! Yey ee yey!"
Dateline Iraq: CNN reports that ever since the pullout of coalition forces from Iraq, "There is complete and total harmony here and no, we won't say anything that might get our throats slit or cause our presence in this very important news front to end. whew! that was close."
Eason Jordan approves of this "news" report.
In still other news: Public display of religiosity has been outlawed, ALL guns will be registered and held securely from your protection by the government (including the one they just pryed from that guys' cold, dead hand), every woman must submit to at least one abortion, cloning is mandatory and ALL fathers will be allowed to have visitation with their biological children at least once a month if they have not violated the new, "Do not ever, do or say anything, that any human being might percieve as innapropriate, towards any other human being, ever." statute. end
Make sure to do your country proud this election season. Let the sellout,spineless,beholdin' to lobbyists,RINO,republicrat,won't do exactly as you wish, so and sos' know, that they don't have to worry about winning an entire block of voters. Then you can start your own 3rd party. How about the "Blockhead" party ?